Learning to RELAX

Ok, I am learning to not stress about the no job situation and just enjoy this free time that I have to myself. After all, in the weeks to come, once I start work, I will probably have to work for the rest of my life or at least until I retire..I think. Unless we struck lottery. I am telling myself not to worry about finance. Yeah yeah so what is $650 dollars a month for childcare that we don't have because I am not pulling my weight? haha. Not going to last forever right? Well, except that it is $650 lesser in our savings towards buying a house. House shmouse. I am just thinking that if I don't ever have the desire to buy a house, we will be relatively well-off. No mortgage, no property taxes, no HOAs...Might even be able to send Cael for golf lessons, music lessons..you name it. So why am I so itching to buy a house? One question I cannot answer. Is it because everyone is doing so? Keeping up with the Joneses? I wish I didn't WANT to buy a house. Makes life easier for us.
The pit of my stomach is going to have a hole soon because although I make light of this situation, I am a worrier, which goes against my belief. And again, this is not because I think that God cannot open doors..I know He can.. I just wonder why He would want to? I confess I have not been the best of His sheep, not even close. Mediocrity is my middle name. Unfortunately.. although it is something I detest.